Friday, July 8, 2011

All Stars Interoffice Memo Leaked

The following interoffice memo was leaked on Wednesday, providing much insight into the mindset of Shotgun Spratling, owner and operator of the Rusty Kuntz All Stars. The All Stars are in the midst of a do or die race to the playoffs, one of 5 teams vying for 2 playoff openings.

Dear *****
(September 15)

Yet another injury to the Rusty Kuntz starting rotation and unfortunately it
comes to our ace Al Orth. The worst part is the timing. Besides being in the
middle of the pennant race, it also comes in the midst of a strong stretch from
Orth as we have won his last five starts and seven of his last eight starts.

Orth is going to go on the DL and we will pick up an extra reliever this
weekend, but in the meantime, we'll take out Orth and go with a four-man
rotation still with a Skip usage, just in case we can potentially cut out a Joe
Wood start.

Also, wanted to throw out just how awesome Honus Wagner has been for us setting
the table in the last month. On August 5, we gave him a day off (with the ultra
utility man Bip Roberts filling in with a tremendous 2-3, 2 R, BB, 2 SB game).
The next day, Wagner went hitless, but since then he has been on fire.

Honus has hit safely in 34 of the 35 games he's played in, including a September
5 game against Gold Coast when he entered as a defensive replacement in the 8th
inning and in the 9th inning led off with a single, stole second and scored the
game-winning run. Not too bad for a guy who was hitting around .250 in the
middle of May.

Shotgun Spratling


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