Carnies, Hoplites swap Saucier, Greinke

The Bertrand Island Carnies obtain starting pitcher Zach Greinke (6-8, 4.27 ERA) from the Sparta Hoplites for lefty reliever Kevin Saucier (2-1, 3.82 ERA).

Rumor has it that Greinke will replace 'ace' starter Pete Alexander (5.05 ERA) who will summarily executed with a captive bolt pistol by Anton Chigurh.