Late Friday evening new "Mechanics" Manager Lyman Bostock and Owner Matt B were flooded with questions after dropping the biggest news in sports in the past 50 years, perhaps of all time. Matt and Bostock will require each and every player on the team to donate portions of their salaries commensurate with their results, as measured by the .500 resims. Bostock explained, "I drafted Jimmie in the first round for a .350 OBA and .539 SLG with 39 home runs. If he isn't within 10% of those numbers his pay will be docked and will be donated to a charity of his choice."
The players were mostly mum on the news, with all but Rube Waddell declining to comment on the concerning, albeit altruistic, nature of the "Mechanics" front office. Waddell on the other hand was visibly excited though frustrated, as he couldn't decide if the Colorado Gator School for alligator wrestling, or the National Historic Fire Foundation's "Hall of Flame", was the best place to send any donations.
The "Mechanics" Lineup
CF - Tris Speaker
RF - Ichiro Suzuki
1B - Jimmie Foxx
DH - George Hall
3B - Al Rosen
.C - Mike Piazza
LF - Ryan Braun
2B - Hardy Richardson
SS - Cal Ripken
Rotation
SP1 - Rube Waddell
SP2 - Dutch Leonard
SP3 - Mordecai Brown
SP4 - Robin Roberts
SP5 - Dwight Gooden and Red Ryan
CL - Joaquin Benoit
SU 1 - Red Ryan
SU 2 - John Hiller
A centralized Diamond Mind Baseball league, using every full time player from 1871 'till today.
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