Manetheren manager Mat Cauthon held an impromptu press conference outside his office today, announcing the Red Eagle mainstay lineup and rotation. Difficult to comprehend at times, the breaking news that Cauthon indicated was that he planned to "roll the dice" and bat Joey Votto second to start the season.
When asked about management's decision to draft untested Negro Leaguers Norman Yokely and Porter Charleston in key roles, the manager opined with more gambling references, "What's life like if you don't take a chance now and then?", and even muttered worlds that sounded like, "Dovie'andi se tovya sagain."
Cauthon ended the conference with a small tirade, "Blood and bloody ashes, taking responsibility takes all the joy out of life, and drains a man to dust. Burn me, this discussion's over". This was in response a seemingly harmless question about what management should do if the Red Eagles open the season playing as poorly as they have in the exhibition season.
Here's the Red Eagle Lineup and Rotation
3B - John McGraw
1B - Joey Votto
DH - Frank Thomas
LF - Turkey Stearnes
RF - Ed Delahanty
CF - Lip Pike
.C - Joe Mauer
2B - Frankie Frisch
SS - Joe Sewell
SP1 - Garland Braxton
SP2 - Johnny Podres
SP3 - David Cone
SP4 - Norman Yokely
SP5 - Larry Dierker
CL - Fernando Rodney and Porter Charleston
SU - Jeff Gray and Rafael Perez
A centralized Diamond Mind Baseball league, using every full time player from 1871 'till today.
If Cauthon doesn't work out, Pete Rose is available to bring some of those gambling cliches to life. I'm sure a trade can be worked out.
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