Green Sox Announce GM, Lineup

(This was one comes directly from the owner, Gary G)


Bob Costas recently sat down with Colorado Green Sox GM Dwayne Johnson to discuss the upcoming season:

 "Dwayne, to be perfectly candid, something special happens to my nipples when you adopt your persona as 'THE ROCK' and speak in the third person. Could you please do that?"

 "It would be a pleasure, Bob. How are you?"

 "I..."

"IT DOESN'T MATTER HOW YOU'RE DOING! The Rock says this: The most electrifying team in ATB will lay the smack down on all the candy asses in the American League! Not since Hannibal Lecter was a vegetarian has there been such an eclectic collection of superstars. The Rock has signed players from the American League, the National League, the Negro League, the Justice League, the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea, everybody but the English Premier League. We have skinny players, fat ones, teetotalers, drunks, roidheads, and everything in between. We have players from the 19th century, 20th century, 21st century, Century 21, Roman centurions, Roman candles, 16 Candles, Sweet 16, and Sweet & Sour Pork. And The Rock's not even going to include Mrs. Costas -- one kind of pork is enough."

"Do you think you'll be able to win the West Division of the American League, playing in the sparsely-oxygenated air of Coors Field?"

"The Green Sox, playing in the very same city where Peyton Manning threw touchdown pass number 420, in the Mile High City, the week after Colorado legalized marijuana last year, will do it, or die trying. IF YOU SMELL...WHAT THE ROCK...IS COOKING!"

Johnson throws down his microphone. Costas is visibly aroused.

Lineup
CF - Bullet Joe Rogan
3B - Oyster Burns
RF - Babe Ruth
DH - Jim Gentile
LF - George Foster
1B - Jason Giambi
SS - Monte Ward
2B - Brett Boone
.C - Mike Scioscia/Manny Sanguillen

Rotation
SP 1 - Al Orth
SP 2 - Harvey Haddix
SP 3 - Bill McCall
SP 4 - Jose Rijo
SP 5 - Dick Ellsworth