Wednesday, January 30, 2013

Tormund Giantsbane Takes Over Wildlings; Immediately Calls Out Hoplites For Being Soft


This Just in From The Wall (sent by Raven):
 
After a weak preseason performance by the Wildlings they have removed Larry Bowa as manager and replaced him with Tormund Giantsbane.  Tormund has little familiarity with baseball, but after a trial by combat where Bowa yielded meekly, Tormund took control of the clubhouse and immediately declared war on the Sparta Hoplites, "King Leonidas?! YAR! That's a laugh.  He and his kith and kin are no match for my free folk.  We run free, hit free, speak free and pitch free.  His boy-loving excuses for warriors have no hope against us!"  When tossed a baseball and asked to throw it, Tormund simply bit half of it off and said, "Tastes like winning!"  Finally, in response to preseason polls that have the wildings behind the Spartans, he simply said, "Lion-me-please would like that wouldn't he? Yar!" 
 
Owner Joe V when asked for comment simply said, "Wildlings are hard to control.  Tormund keeps them in as much control as possible, but up here on thw Wall we believe that type of aggressiveness will lead us to victory.  I have all the respect in the world for Mr. Bowa and wish him well in his new role with our organization." Bowa was reassigned to a position in maintenance, labeled Chamber Pot Castellan.  The Wildings open their season in a few days and will have a giant feast the night before the opener.  No players were allowed to comment on this transaction, per club policy. 

Thanks Joe V for submitting this!

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